I’m not bitter I’m not broken

I fixed my broken heart

I am not stuck in the past I realized there really was no point in that I’m happy in the present and my future is in my hands

I’m not looking back because what good would that really do?

I’m not bitter and I’m not broken I’m so over it

After it’s all said and done it really does no good to hold onto the past and the pain

My heart was broken but I put the pieces back together and now I’m whole I’m on my way

I shed my tears and now I’m done with the past if you see me cry they are really tears of joy

I’m not bitter I’m not broken I put the pieces of my heart back together

I’m not stuck in the past I’m living in the now ready to move on into the future

I shed my tears of sorrow now if you see me cry they are really tears of joy

With Love,
Christina

xoxo

(c) May 2nd, 2009 Lucky Music/The omen music

Lord, help me not to fear what others think of me. Help me to remember that because you saved me and your spirit lives within me the things judgmental people say can’t ultimately hurt me. when people say things that are critical, let those things roll off my back and not stay in my mind or heart.Thank you that although hurtful words may come and go, my salvation lasts forever.

Payers for emotional wholeness by Stormie Omartian

Lord sometimes I’m afraid of what might happen in the future. I submit all my fears to you and thank you that you will take them away from me. I lift up to you my greatest fear and ask that you will give me peace in place of fear. When troubling things happen to me or around me, help me to remember that you are on my side and will fight for me. If you are there for me then no one can succeed against me.

Lord, I thank you that no matter what has happened to me in the past, no matter what is happening in my circumstances now, you promise to never leave me or forsake me. Thank you that because you love me, I don’t ever have to live in fear. I pray you would take away anything in my life that give’s me good reason to be afraid. Keep me safe and protected where I am, And take me to a place of safety in the future.

Prayers for Emotional wholeness by Stormie Omartian

I read this earlier today and wanted to share it.

Just for today give you life anew to God! Tell him, Full speed ahead! Just for today pour out your love and care for your family. Be “too nice” to everyone you meet. Just for today take your physical strength seriously and exert yourself. Just for today use that brain power God has given you to grow more beautiful in character. Just for today reach out and encourage your best friend in their spiritual journey. Just for today take one small step toward your goal you’re trying to achieve. And finally, just for today make the commitment to wake up everyday of your life and repeat this pattern.

Lord, just for today I commit every single area of my life to you- every thought, every word, every action. Let this be a day in which I grow more and more into your image. Amen

Taken from A woman after God’s own heart by Elizabeth George

The good are better made by ill, as odors crushed sweeter still.

Roger

Today I was working in the sun all day and I am so exhausted now. But at least I got a tan. I met this girl that’s new to town it’s not like we exchanged numbers or e-mails but we chatted. I also talked with this one acquaintance of mine who has been in Ireland she just got back and was working with her mom at her store but we only spoke shortly. But at least she didn’t ignore me. Yesterday this woman commented on my necklace which meant a lot to me because my fiancé gave it to me a while ago. I wear it all the time and along the way I’ve collected other charms and stuff for it.

Here are some things I’m going to try to do:

1. I will not dwell on the past and worry about the future
2. I will treat other people with respect and compassion
3. I will be good to myself
4. I will learn to love and accept myself
5. I will be good to the planet
6. I will try to live cheerfully
7. I will be open and tolerant to others beliefs and opinions.
8. I will remember that a life lives simply is beautiful
9. I will learn to rest in the arms of the lord, spirit.
10. I will express myself and be free

The very difficulties of life, of which we are apt to complain, are converted into the means of that discipline, that self improvement, which is the great end of life. …progress is the child of struggle, and struggle is the child of difficulty.

James Walker

STRONGER (Faith Hill)

This is the window to my heart
I just want you to be for real
There ain’t no freedom where we are
There ain’t no wishes in these stars
Ain’t no reason to believe

But don’t worry baby
Don’t you worry
Baby this is what we need
A little bruise and a little bleeding
Some space that we can breathe in
Some silence in between

So cry for me baby
and I’ll cry for you
and we’ll both break down
and we’ll both break through
and find our way to face the truth
We both will be stronger
and we’ll lie down in our loneliness
and wake up with our sad regrets
and even though we don’t know it yet
We both will be stronger
We both will be stronger
I can’t believe you’re really gone, now
but I know it’s for the best
And I know that we weren’t right
but I still reach for you each night
and man, that hurts like hell

So cry for me baby
and I’ll cry for you
and we’ll both break down
and we’ll both break through
and find our way to face the truth
We both will be stronger
and we’ll lie down in our loneliness
and wake up with our sad regrets
and even though we don’t know it yet
We both will be stronger
We both will be stronger

This is the window to my heart
I just want us to be for real
Baby i’m sorry for the way things are
Goodbye is always hard
But we both will be stronger

SWITCHFOOT – This Is Home lyrics

I’ve got my memories
They’re always
Inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was
I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I’ve never known

Chorus:
This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back

Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It’s not over yet
We are miracles
And we’re not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it home

(Chorus)

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I’ve come too far
Now I won’t go back
This is home

This is a song from miss Linda Stawberrys blog on Myspace. I just could resanate with it so much. And one poem I wrote called Sunshine. Since it is July and summer.

growing up is a strange thing.
you can grow up suddenly in a space of a few days
or slowly and steadily through a space of years.
you never know.
and when the change happens you can never go back nor would you want to.
priorities change
values change
you start to want different things.
im there right now.
ive been arriving here for eight months.
what used to turn me on just doesnt do it for me.
its not exactly that im sick of myself haha. its actually that i love myself now

and i am not so willing to throw myself into dangerous situations
or damage myself to get somewhere im not even sure i want to go.
or spend time with people i fear or people i know i wont like.

now i feel that ive fallen in love with my life instead.
im gonna stop trying to micromanage my future and im going to relax.
this last year has taught me alot of things.
who i am not anymore. who i dont want to become. who i really am. and what i want for my future.

i want a much bigger life than that.
what IS important is that i stop worrying and enjoy my life again. and have fun doing the things that i love to do. life is too short to worry. i need to roll with the punches.
im anxious and excited to redefine what i am doing right now and to begin the next phase of what i hope to become very big life filled with all of the things i care about.
i feel that this moment is like walking from one room to the next and shutting the door.
and what demons and mistakes and scars are in that room can no longer hurt me.

im retiring the girl who kept so much drama in her life that she wouldnt have to feel anything.
im retiring the girl who played characters in order to be what she thought people wanted.
im retiring the girl who gave herself to too many people who didnt deserve her.

im retiring the angry screaming terror that helped me fight for my life.
im retiring the jaded girl who doesnt believe in anything or anyone.
im retiring the girl who was careless with people and didnt take responsibility.
im retiring the girl who would destroy everything and leave everything in ruin.

im leaving them behind.

i dont need you girls anymore. but thankyou for getting me this far.
im shutting the door on you.

my life is beautiful because im letting it be beautiful. and im allowing it to happen.
and im taking all the good lessons. of hard work. patience. passion. fire. and faith with me.
i want to spend my time doing what makes me happy.. whatever that is.

Thou can not change one little drop that heaven has mixed for thee, however bitter the cup, it may thy healing be. And in its dregs the soul at last its sweetest hope may see.

I want to feel the sun on my face. I want to feel the wind blowing in my hair. I want to walk on the beach and feel the sand underneath my feet. I want to smell the lake. I want to spend forever in his arms. I want to dance under the moon and stars. I want to stand in the rain and wash yesterday away.