Today I woke up and I am still sad about the loss of my cat. But, I am feeling like I am gaining more closure. I talked to my boyfriend today and it was a really nice conversation. I am grateful that even though my cat is no longer here with me at least she is in a better place. I’m grateful I still have my other two cats. I’m grateful for the spring and the flowers blooming and I saw the cutest baby bunny eating grass today. Those are sweet moments and I’m grateful for them. I’m grateful that the Lord have me another day on earth. I filled out my application for disability and had my interview over the phone today. I just need to send in some paperwork and we will see what happens.

The very difficulties of life, of which we are apt to complain, are converted into the means of that discipline, that self improvement, which is the great end of life. …progress is the child of struggle, and struggle is the child of difficulty.

James Walker

STRONGER (Faith Hill)

This is the window to my heart
I just want you to be for real
There ain’t no freedom where we are
There ain’t no wishes in these stars
Ain’t no reason to believe

But don’t worry baby
Don’t you worry
Baby this is what we need
A little bruise and a little bleeding
Some space that we can breathe in
Some silence in between

So cry for me baby
and I’ll cry for you
and we’ll both break down
and we’ll both break through
and find our way to face the truth
We both will be stronger
and we’ll lie down in our loneliness
and wake up with our sad regrets
and even though we don’t know it yet
We both will be stronger
We both will be stronger
I can’t believe you’re really gone, now
but I know it’s for the best
And I know that we weren’t right
but I still reach for you each night
and man, that hurts like hell

So cry for me baby
and I’ll cry for you
and we’ll both break down
and we’ll both break through
and find our way to face the truth
We both will be stronger
and we’ll lie down in our loneliness
and wake up with our sad regrets
and even though we don’t know it yet
We both will be stronger
We both will be stronger

This is the window to my heart
I just want us to be for real
Baby i’m sorry for the way things are
Goodbye is always hard
But we both will be stronger

SWITCHFOOT – This Is Home lyrics

I’ve got my memories
They’re always
Inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was
I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was
Created for a place
I’ve never known

Chorus:
This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back

Back to how it was
And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It’s not over yet
We are miracles
And we’re not alone

(Chorus)

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it home

(Chorus)

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I’ve come too far
Now I won’t go back
This is home

I was walking as I like to do at night. I like to meditate and walk around and see what’s going on. Walking is like meditation for me. It gives me peace of mind. This is what happened on my walk…

Tonight I went for a walk. It was a lovely night. I was walking and saw this bunny. At first I thought it was a statue it was so still and then it started moving and hoping around. The fireflies where flying all around. The moon was full and bright I could see it even though it wasn’t completely dark out yet. And someone was playing jazz music. It felt like a scene from a movie or something. It was really lovely.

Happy labor day everyone! I hope you are having a fun time. I had to work for part of the time today. That sucked. Who wants to work on labor day? my guess is probably no one that’s why it’s called labor day and it’s a holiday. Anyway, I have tommorrow and wensday off so that’s good I have to work on thursday and I have friday off but I am working on saturday as for sunday I’m not sure yet. I’m excited though because I get to have my hair done sometime this week most likely thursday so I’m looking forward to getting that done and maybe making a good change in my life will make me feel a bit better.

Last night I went to a bar but I knew I had to work today so I didn’t drink anything. I stuck to diet coke even though I was dying for a beer or to put some vodka or rum or something in the coke. But since I’m not working tommorrow I probably will have a drink or two.

I want love. I had love and lost it. But it’s something I would like to think I still belive in and something I do really want back in my life. Love: noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

–noun ..> 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Angel: I want an angel on my shoulder. I want an angel looking out for me in heaven. I think my godfather and dog that passed are my angels. I want an angel here on earth. My mom is like my angel and I’m like hers. I thought he was my angel but now I don’t think so anymore. noun ..> 1. one of a class of spiritual beings; a celestial attendant of God. In medieval angelology, angels constituted the lowest of the nine celestial orders (seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations or dominions, virtues, powers, principalities or princedoms, archangels, and angels).

Music: without music I think I would die. Music and writing is the only thing that keeps me going. Music is like my air. noun ..> 1. an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.

Baby: I want my baby back. I want a new baby. Literally one day I do want to have a baby but not right now. lol. noun ..> 1. an infant or very young child.
..> ..> 2. a newborn or very young animal.

..> ..> b. a person of whom one is deeply fond; sweetheart.
..> ..>
I’m shocked and suprised that I talked to my ex’s mom today and he wants to see me. I’m relived and happy about that but also confused and scared. I’m listeing to buckcherry everything because he was my everything and I can’t sleep at night sometimes because I miss him. I just want to talk to him and write him letters. I’ll start to cry sometimes. I want to be his everything.

Is anyone going to the hinder concert september 8th. I really want to go. But, I have a million things to do this month so I don’t know if I can make it or not. But, I’m just wondering if anyone else was planning on going?

I’m really tired right now I was up all night creating profiels for other sights. I think that’s what loneliness does. Then I delted some because I felt like they were not safe and too many people where looking at my stuff. I have to go to bed very soon though I have to work all day again tommorrow which I hate I don’t want to. I want to just stay home and sleep all day. It’s nights like these when I really miss my ex. I miss how he used to come over late at night and we would stay up and talk all night. I’m feeling like I could cry right about now. I’m going through stages. Sometimes I’m in denial and I go to pick up the phone and call him and then I realize that I can’t sometimes I’m angry at him and trying to understand why he broke up with me and why he was so cruel to me when he never was before and sometimes like tonight I’m depressed and even after everything I still want him back. Other times I feel like I’m moving on and getting over it and I could do without him just fine but sometimes I just want him back and now is one of those times. I’m good tonight just tired from the weekend. It’s still the weekend but I’m exhausted already. I wish hinder was on reverbnation. I’m listening to feist 123 right now.

Kittie is coming to mokena IL at the pearl room september 13th. I really want to go and I told my ex about it before we broke up because I wanted to go with him. But, now that’s not gonna happen. I still want to go though. I was just wondering who else was gonna go?

I wanna get my hair done like victoria beckham aka posh spice only the way she has it now with platinum blonde.

I am excited about possibly going to the concert and that I hopefully get to talk to my cute neighbor tommorrow.