Today I felt terrible! I have been so tired and sluggish lately. I think my gum has an infection. There is mold in my basement. But, today I decided I am going to take an active role in my happiness. I am going to do a two day macrobiotic rice fast. I did it before for three days and it was amazing! So I’m ready to do it again! Then I’m going to eat macro foods. For at least a week and see how I’m feeling I might do it for longer depending. But, then I was gonna do a raw food cleanse diet. And then just eat healthy. I just want to desludge my body right now. I’ve been eating way too much junk food and all those chemicals are really making me sick! So enough is enough! Starting tonight though I am going to eat a healthy dinner. Some salad with chicken. Yum! I’m glad the ice cream is gone! If I’m still hungry I’ll have some fruit. I’m not trying to lose weight even though I haven’t weighed myself so I have no idea what my weight is right now. Last time I got on the scale it was still the same. I haven’t been overeating just eating more junk. Which is not making me gain weight yet but it is making me sick or adding to whatever is already wrong with me. I also updated my passions. Which I will update in my blogs. So check them out when you get a chance. Here’s to playing an active role in our happiness! Cheers with water!

OK so I’ve been on this quest trying to find myself and fine my freedom. Freedom is a strange thing. You see people who are not free like prisoners for instance and people in foreign countries at least some who have no rights. But then you see people who could have all the freedom in the world. Freedom to love who you want. Freedom to do what you want. But yet so many people still feel so trapped. I myself am/was one of those people. I looked for freedom everywhere. I looked for in religion, I looked for it in churches, I looked for it in self help books. But then I realized freedom does not come from anything it comes from ourselves. I started going macrobiotic most of the time and it really opened up my eyes. It is after all about freedom…

Here is a prayer I found that I wanted to share.
Dear God, I give this day to you. May my mind stay centered on the things of spirit. May I not be tempted to stray from love as I begin this day I open to receive you. Please enter where you already abide. May my mind and heart be pure and true and may I not deviate from the things of goodness. May I see the love and innocence in all mankind, behind the masks we all wear and the illusions of this worldly plane? I surrender to you my doings this day. I ask that I only serve your and the healing of the world. May I bring your love and goodness with me? To give unto others wherever I go Make me the person you would have me be. Direct my footsteps, and show me what you would have me do. Make the world a safer, more beautiful place. Bless all your creatures. Heal us all, and use me, dear lord that I might know the joy of being used by you. Amen
Taken from the foreword from the best life diet by Bob Greene which was taken from Illuminata: a book of prayers by Marianne Williamson.

started the macrobiotic diet not totally but am trying to get into the swing of things. They say it’s not good to go full force anyway you have to implement new changes slowly. I really like the macrobiotic because it’s not just about what you eat which are mostly whole grains and vegetables but there is no such thing as depriving yourself if your body needs something then you eat it. The philosophy behind the macrobiotic is the yin and yang and Taoism. I have always been interested in different religions and spirituality and I am a Christian but I love that it combines philosophy with eating right. It’s so interesting and it’s not about what you believe because there is one higher power no matter what you call that power. It’s about getting in tune with that higher power which I think is fascinating. It’s about freedom which I’ve been striving for. Freedom to choose

I’m also started Mariel Hemingway’s book finding my balance. I also find it fascinating because it combines the spiritual with the way you eat. How all things connect? What you eat your exercise your silent or meditation time and your home. There is this contract in the beginning that I made to myself today and I want to write it here.
I agree to be kind to myself the four weeks following these suggestions. I agree to put myself first. To treat myself with compassion and patience I would treat a close friend. To drop the harsh criticism I put on myself when I look in the mirror or eat something bad or I am not perfect at everything I do. I agree to act like I am my own best friend. If I catch myself saying something mean to myself I pledge to ask myself would I say this to my best friend.

Taken from Healthy living from the inside out by Mariel Hemingway

This is how I met my baby boy. He is my man. I love him so much. He is my soulmate. I’ve posted about us before and This is an update.

I was reading Mariel Hemingway’s book finding my balance and I’ve heard this many times before in one version or another. About what it’s like when we find our soul mates. I’ve always heard that time stops or slows down and you instantly know you are going to marry that person one day. And that’s exactly the way I felt when I met my fiancé. I first saw him 7 almost 8 years ago. We went to the same school. He was walking out of the building and all of a sudden it was like time just stopped or slowed down and all I could focus on was him. I remember thinking to myself in a passing thought it was nothing I said out loud that one day I was going to Marry him. It seemed odd to me because that was the first time I saw him I hadn’t even spoken to him at that point so it seemed strange me thinking I would marry him. But then I kept seeing him at school and then I thought to myself well the only way I’ll talk to him is if I see him away from school and I prayed to the lord “if I’m meant to be with this man and if I really am meant to marry him then please let me see him somewhere else so that I can talk to him.” Well I was out with some friends one night and we went to Oberweis to get some ice cream. Out of nowhere there he is coming out of the bathroom leaving oberweiss and passed right by us. So that next Monday I spoke to him. We where friends for a year and then we started dating. Now that I ponder it is really does seem like it was all meant to be. I feel like every time I pray about it I get the same answer that he is my soul mate and he is the one.