This is how I met my baby boy. He is my man. I love him so much. He is my soulmate. I’ve posted about us before and This is an update.

I was reading Mariel Hemingway’s book finding my balance and I’ve heard this many times before in one version or another. About what it’s like when we find our soul mates. I’ve always heard that time stops or slows down and you instantly know you are going to marry that person one day. And that’s exactly the way I felt when I met my fiancé. I first saw him 7 almost 8 years ago. We went to the same school. He was walking out of the building and all of a sudden it was like time just stopped or slowed down and all I could focus on was him. I remember thinking to myself in a passing thought it was nothing I said out loud that one day I was going to Marry him. It seemed odd to me because that was the first time I saw him I hadn’t even spoken to him at that point so it seemed strange me thinking I would marry him. But then I kept seeing him at school and then I thought to myself well the only way I’ll talk to him is if I see him away from school and I prayed to the lord “if I’m meant to be with this man and if I really am meant to marry him then please let me see him somewhere else so that I can talk to him.” Well I was out with some friends one night and we went to Oberweis to get some ice cream. Out of nowhere there he is coming out of the bathroom leaving oberweiss and passed right by us. So that next Monday I spoke to him. We where friends for a year and then we started dating. Now that I ponder it is really does seem like it was all meant to be. I feel like every time I pray about it I get the same answer that he is my soul mate and he is the one.

Happy labor day everyone! I hope you are having a fun time. I had to work for part of the time today. That sucked. Who wants to work on labor day? my guess is probably no one that’s why it’s called labor day and it’s a holiday. Anyway, I have tommorrow and wensday off so that’s good I have to work on thursday and I have friday off but I am working on saturday as for sunday I’m not sure yet. I’m excited though because I get to have my hair done sometime this week most likely thursday so I’m looking forward to getting that done and maybe making a good change in my life will make me feel a bit better.

Last night I went to a bar but I knew I had to work today so I didn’t drink anything. I stuck to diet coke even though I was dying for a beer or to put some vodka or rum or something in the coke. But since I’m not working tommorrow I probably will have a drink or two.

I want love. I had love and lost it. But it’s something I would like to think I still belive in and something I do really want back in my life. Love: noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.

–noun ..> 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
Angel: I want an angel on my shoulder. I want an angel looking out for me in heaven. I think my godfather and dog that passed are my angels. I want an angel here on earth. My mom is like my angel and I’m like hers. I thought he was my angel but now I don’t think so anymore. noun ..> 1. one of a class of spiritual beings; a celestial attendant of God. In medieval angelology, angels constituted the lowest of the nine celestial orders (seraphim, cherubim, thrones, dominations or dominions, virtues, powers, principalities or princedoms, archangels, and angels).

Music: without music I think I would die. Music and writing is the only thing that keeps me going. Music is like my air. noun ..> 1. an art of sound in time that expresses ideas and emotions in significant forms through the elements of rhythm, melody, harmony, and color.

Baby: I want my baby back. I want a new baby. Literally one day I do want to have a baby but not right now. lol. noun ..> 1. an infant or very young child.
..> ..> 2. a newborn or very young animal.

..> ..> b. a person of whom one is deeply fond; sweetheart.
..> ..>
I’m shocked and suprised that I talked to my ex’s mom today and he wants to see me. I’m relived and happy about that but also confused and scared. I’m listeing to buckcherry everything because he was my everything and I can’t sleep at night sometimes because I miss him. I just want to talk to him and write him letters. I’ll start to cry sometimes. I want to be his everything.