Happy Halloween! I hope everyone had a good day. Mine was so so. I am still having back pain and had to work. It was very slow today but I did finish reading a book. I am realizing I need to start taking better care of myself. My clothes are getting tighter on me which is very embarrassing for me as I’ve been the same size for years even with my bad habits. But, I am going to feed my spiritual self with this program and my higher power. I’m going to start exercising again and eating better. I need to take care of myself which is something I’ve been neglecting. When I was thinking of this today the slogan that came into my mind was “first things first.” So first thing is first I have to take care of my well being. On Monday when I saw my counselor a lot came out in the open about my feelings. For a long time my codependency has ruled my life. I’ve felt like without certain things or people my life would fall apart. But, I’m trying to get stronger so I don’t feel that way anymore. We also talked about me doing some inner child healing because of a lot of issue from when I was younger that really affect me today like my fears of abandonment and trying to be perfect so I can keep people around and wanting people to need me so they don’t leave me. One day at a time. Thanks for letting me share. Take what you like and leave the rest.

I finished reading the book Resilience from Elizabeth Edwards today. I thought her story was so touching. I think it showed we all go through changed both good and bad in our lives and it’s how we get through them that make us stronger people. I was sad and touched when she talked about her son’s death. I have felt loss of my godfather and other relatives. I love how she said we all grieve in different ways and what works for me might not work for you or vica versa. She talked about her battle with breast cancer. I think it takes so much strength to battle an illness like that and then to find out you are going to die from it but still just trying to be strong and live your life to the fullest instead of giving up. Then when she talked about her husbands affair I felt her betrayal she felt and anger. I also felt her deep love and commitment to her husband. I could relate to that feeling.